Hesed

I recently wrote a short paper on the Hebrew word hesed. It’s a very difficult word to translate into English, and there isn’t really any English equivalent. It’s difficult to translate because there are many different aspects to the word. Most Bibles translate hesed as “lovingkindness” or “steadfast love.” This one little word contains the ideas of loyalty, kindness, grace, covenant faithfulness, and mercy.

In Hebrew class the day after we turned in our papers, my Hebrew professor, Dr. Murphy, explain even more aspects of the word hesed. Then he gave us a really touching illustration of hesed that I don’t think I’ll ever forget. Dr. Murphy told us about his son who is currently in elementary school. In the past few weeks, his son had been getting into a lot of trouble with his teachers and complaining about how other kids got away with breaking the rules while he never seemed to catch a break. One night while Dr. Murphy was tucking his son into bed, he said something like, “Son, I wish I could say I’m proud of you right now. I wish I could encourage you and tell you that you’ve been obedient and well-behaved. But you haven’t been an obedient son lately, and I’m not proud of the things you’ve been doing.  But even though you’ve been misbehaving, I still love you. And I will always love you. I will love you no matter what you do because you’re my son.” In that 30 second story, Dr. Murphy taught me more about hesed than I had learned from studying it in Hebrew lexicons for 2 hours.

Could it be true? Does God really love us like that? Will He really love us no matter how many times we disobey Him and now matter what kind of gross sins we commit? Yeah. Because His love isn’t just any kind of love. It’s hesed. Steadfast love.

There a couple of things that I don’t understand right now. The first one is the love that a parent has for a child. I don’t fully understand how much my mom and dad love me, and I don’t think I’ll even begin to understand until I have kids of my own. The second thing I don’t understand is the love that God has for me. And this love, this hesed, I can begin to understand by reading the Bible, but I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand it in this lifetime.

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips will praise You (Psalm 63:3).

Talking to God

One of the assignments for my prayer class is to pray for an hour a day. This has been good for me in so many ways. First of all, it’s really helped me cultivate my relationship with Christ. It’s a strange thing that I often forget that the Christian life is all about a relationship with Jesus. Life for me easily becomes a list of Christian activities and ministry events, and somehow, I can’t seem to find Jesus anywhere in these activities and events. Praying for an hour a day has given me an extended time where I just sit down and talk with my best friend Jesus. It’s reminded me that my personal relationship with Jesus is the most important thing that I have in life, and it’s stupid of me not to treasure it above everything else.

Praying for an hour a day has also been extremely humbling. During the first week, it was really tough to pray for an hour a day. I would pray for all the things I could think of in my head, and sometimes I would even pray through ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication). Doing so sure felt like it took a long time. After praying for essentially everything I could think of, I would open my eyes to look at the clock expecting that I had gone AT LEAST an hour. However, I would usually see that something like 20 minutes had passed. The next 40 minutes would be a huge challenge as I struggled to keep my focus in talking to God. It was a pretty startling realization that I had trouble talking to God for only an hour when I could easily meet up to chat with a friend for an hour. My struggles revealed a lot about my heart attitude toward Christ. I was humbled to see that my relationship with Him isn’t what it should be and isn’t what I would like it to be.

Spending time in prayer over the past few weeks has been really encouraging. God has been gracious to grow me in my prayer life by giving me more and more desire to talk to Him. I care less about keeping my eye on the clock to make sure I can log my hour, and instead, I care more about unloading what’s on my heart to my Heavenly Father. Being able to talk to God is a pretty crazy thing when you think about it.

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

First Semester

Well, my first semester is over. Seminary is all I thought it would be and then some. Much of seminary is exactly what I thought it would be- studying the Bible in depth, reading theological books, and learning how to preach. But I’ve also learned things that I never expected to learn, and I’ve experienced blessings that I never thought I would experience. I’ve been stretched, challenged, and humbled in ways that I did not anticipate. God has taught me many difficult lessons- lessons that I certainly never asked Him to teach me. As I look back at my first semester in seminary and my first semester serving in a different capacity at Grace on Campus, I find that Ephesians 3:20-21 sums up how I feel.

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.

God has certainly blessed me beyond all my expectations.

I think my most challenging class this past semester was Hebrew. I’ve never been good with languages. (Just ask my previous Mandarin teachers…or anyone who’s ever heard me try to speak Mandarin). For me, succeeding in Hebrew is all about keeping the right perspective. I need to keep reminding myself that one things I desire to do most in this life is to rightly divide the Word of God (2 Timothy 2:15), and in order to pursue this goal to the fullest, I know that I need to learn Hebrew. God has spoken to me through the Bible, and I want to know exactly what He said so that I can know how to live in the way that is most glorifying to Him. Ultimately, learning Hebrew is an act of worship to God, and as long as I view it as such, I can enjoy this class.

If you had to pick a hero from the Old Testament, who would it be? Moses? Joshua? David? Daniel? All of these would be great choices because they all accomplished tremendous things for God. It was interesting to learn about these people in more depth, and as I did, I came to realize that these heroes of the faith weren’t really that heroic and weren’t really that faithful.

Although Noah is described as a righteous and blameless man who saved mankind from extinction through his obedience, he ends up being a shameful drunkard (Genesis 9:20-21). Abraham’s faithlessness is put on full display when he laughs at God’s promise to give him a son in his and Sarah’s old age (Genesis 17:17). Moses, after accomplishing a mighty deliverance of the Israelites from the hand of the Egyptians, rebels against the Lord during, ironically, the very act of rebuking the Israelites for their rebellion against the Lord (Numbers 20:8-13). David was a man after God’s own heart whose zeal for the Lord procured the Lord’s enablement to defeat a blasphemous giant, yet he would later become an adulterer and a murderer (2 Samuel 11:1-27). Against the backdrop of tainted “heroes” like these, God proves that He is the only one that is truly faithful and the only true hero of the Old Testament. I find this Old Testament motif of God being the only flawless hero to be very encouraging. This faithful God of Noah, Abraham, Moses, and David is also my God. Mine! And He loves me more than I could ever fathom. It’s also encouraging to see how mightily God used these flawed men for His glory. I too am very flawed. I too have my ups and downs. But I know that I too can be used by God.

Weakness

A couple of weeks ago, I did my two-minute drill for my Intro to Preaching class. In the classes before that, I had just sat back and enjoyed listening to the other men speak on topics such as hunting, the sovereignty of God, an ocean, and Barry Bonds. I chose to speak on the word “weakness.” I’ve heard from many public speakers and books on public speaking that starting with a question is always effective, so that’s exactly what I did. I began by asking “When’s the last time you felt weak?” I then talked about how I am not physically strong, only able to do six pull-ups on a good day. Then I said that even though I’m physically weak, I never felt weaker than when I went on my short-term ministry trip to Japan this past summer. In Japan, we met with students from local colleges who were part of their schools’ English clubs. For the most part, we just made small talk, but a few times, the topic of religion came up, and I was able to share about my faith. I felt pretty helpless when sharing the Gospel because of the language barrier that existed between the Japanese students and me. It was much more difficult than sharing the Gospel with college students in America because with the Japanese students, I had to stay away from simple Christian terms that they didn’t understand such as “sin,” “righteousness,” and “justice.” Because I felt very weak when it came to sharing the Gospel, I had to constantly remind myself that God is the one who changes hearts, not me. Even though I probably butchered the Gospel and had to labor to explain it, I remembered that God’s word will not return to Him empty without accomplishing what He desires (Isaiah 55:11).  Knowing this gave me confidence to spread the Gospel. My own feeling of weakness is what forced me to depend on God even more. Anyways, I think this two-minute drill was good for me because it taught me how to gather my thoughts quickly and to tell a story concisely. Now that the two minute drills are over, we’re actually going to start preaching. For my first assignment, I’m going to give a 12-minute sermon on Romans 12:1-2.

The professors at TMS have been very encouraging. They are extremely knowledgeable about the subjects they teach and convey the information very clearly. Not only that, it’s easy to tell that they care about the students’ personal growth. They won’t hesitate to stop teaching their lesson to speak to our hearts and refocus us on the big picture. I must say that it’s pretty weird to have professors tell you that your GPA doesn’t matter. My professors at UCLA were telling me something quite different.  But if my TMS professors are correct, churches that interview potential pastors NEVER ask for our GPA and only care about our character, our ability to minister to people, our ability to preach the Word of God.

The other seminary students are equally encouraging. These guys definitely have a heart for the Lord and His people. It’s really cool to hear them talk so passionately about their future ministry goals. I have no doubt that God will use these faithful men to do great things for Him across the globe. But for now, these guys are my classmates, and I’m blessed to have them. Some of them really crack me up too. There’s this one guy in my Hebrew class that’s always cracking jokes, mostly about how ridiculously hard Hebrew is. I never thought I’d be laughing so hard in a language class.

The Road to Seminary (Part 3)

February, 2008: I can’t pinpoint any single moment in time where I changed from not knowing God’s plan for my life to knowing for certain that God wanted me in full time ministry. The apostle Paul knew for sure that God was calling him to preach the Gospel in Macedonia when a vision appeared to him (Acts 16:9-10). John MacArthur knew that God wanted him to be a pastor when he got into a major car accident and spent time alone with God while lying on a hospital bed. I never had any dramatic experience like this, but the closest thing I can think of happened on a Sunday morning at Crossroads, GCC’s college service. During our time of worship, we sang Jesus I My Cross Have Taken. As I sang, the Lord challenged me to get my own cross ready because I might have to die for Him. I closed my eyes as others sang around me and asked myself, “Would I die for Jesus? Am I willing to give Him my entire life? Am I willing to surrender every remaining year of my life to Christ- from 22 years old to whenever I will die?” As I thought about these questions, we began to sing the last verse of the song. God used two lines from that verse to pierce my heart and give me a clear sign He wanted me in full-time ministry. Speaking to my own soul I sang:

Soon shall close thy earthly mission,

Swift shall pass thy pilgrim days,

Those two lines helped me understand something that the Bible had been telling me all along. James 4:14 says “You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.” After the psalmist realizes that “As for the days of our life, they contain seventy years, or if due strength, eighty years, yet their pride is but labor and sorrow; for soon it is gone and we fly away” (Psalm 90:10), he asks the Lord to “teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom” (v. 11). These are verses that I’ve known since I was a kid, but I never fully grasped the weight of what they were saying. At the moment I sang those two lines from the song, James 4 and Psalm 90 became real to me. Life is short. I’m just passing through this earth, and I’m only going to be here for a little while. Before me, saints of old have also passed by on this earth and used their short lives for the furtherance of God’s kingdom no matter what it cost them. And it cost some of them their lives. Like the faithful men and women who have come before me, I’m here on earth for a little while and then I’ll be gone. But I do have this one life to live for God. Just one short life. Thinking through all of this, I understood what I needed to do: give my short life to Jesus. Follow Him even if He was leading me to pastoral ministry. Take up my cross, an instrument on which I might suffer and die, and be willing to go through anything for Him. In Mark 8:34 where Jesus says, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me,” He’s not talking to pastors. He’s talking to anyone who desires to follow after Him. He’s talking to the massive crowds who needed to make a decision whether to follow Him or turn back to the comfort of their own homes. Everyone who chooses to follow Christ, any Christian, must live for Him and Him alone, having their crosses strapped to their backs and ready to die for Him. I know being a Christian is difficult. And I know I’m asking for some extra trials by becoming a pastor. I know that Jesus demands nothing less than my life. And that’s scary to me. I don’t want to be martyred. A part of me doesn’t want to go through the trials and persecution I will endure as a Christian and as a pastor, but there’s a good reason I am denying myself and taking up my cross: Jesus Christ already took up His cross, was nailed to it, and died for me.

March, 2008: I received affirmation of my gifts and ministry potential from older men in the church, particularly Justin McKitterick and Paul Ushijima. This was such an important step in my decision to go into ministry because older men like Justin and Paul have seen many guys pursue ministry and know what kind of man it takes to succeed as a pastor. They’ve seen men drop out of ministry, they’ve seen men get disqualified, and they’ve seen men have fruitful ministries. I wanted know what they thought the Lord could do through me based on their relationship with me and their experience dealing with other men like me. I invited them to be brutally honest with me, so I told them, “If I don’t have what it takes, then tell me!” Both Justin and Paul believed that God could really use me in full-time ministry and shepherded me by giving me some things I needed to think about before making my decision.

July 2, 2008: On this Wednesday night during my short-term ministry trip to Japan, our team was talking to Okada Sensei, one of the pastors at Hamadera Bible Church (HBC). I asked him his story of how God called him to be a pastor, and he was kind enough to stay up late with us to tell us. He, like me, wanted to go to seminary right after finishing his undergraduate studies. However, God had other plans for him, and he ended up ministering at HBC for a while before attending seminary. It was really encouraging to see how God brought him through several trials to where he is now. I think the best piece of advice I got from him was that an aspiring pastor should not only desire to be a pastor, but his desire should grow even when he faces failures in ministry. After talking with him for a while, I had to go home for the night. But before I left, I checked my email. I had one new message in my inbox- a message from The Master’s Seminary notifying me that I had been accepted. I was ecstatic, and I quickly told all my teammates who were still sitting around Okada Sensei. Everything was a blur because I was rushing to leave, but I remember seeing my teammates Estella and Tim smiling. Estella said she was really happy for me. Okada Sensei also wore a smile on his face, and something about his smile communicated to me his understanding that God had sovereignly ordained him to talk to me about his decision to be a pastor on the same night that I got accepted to TMS.

October 3, 2008: And here I am, six weeks into seminary. For most of my senior year, I thought I would be spending this year working in the Bay Area and living at home. Instead, I’m sitting in my apartment in Westwood, getting ready to attend Grace on Campus to hear Justin preach on Romans 5. I guess God had other plans for me. Praise Him.

The Road to Seminary (Part 2)

Thursdays, 2004-2005: In my first year at GOC, I attended a small group Bible study led by Adler Chan. Throughout the year, we studied the book of 1 Timothy, one of Paul’s pastoral epistles in which he gives Timothy practical instructions for how a church should be run. When our group reached 1 Timothy 3, Adler taught us the qualifications of an elder- the absolute “musts” for pastors and elders. I was surprised to learn that all but one of the qualifications have to do with the man’s character rather than his spiritual gifts or abilities. I began to realized that pastors aren’t good pastors because they can speak really well; rather, they’re good pastors because they live with integrity and seek to be like Christ in every aspect of their lives. So, me winning a few speech contests in high school really didn’t mean much if I didn’t live a life that was above reproach. Going over verses 2-7 was really humbling because I realized that I not only had a long way to go for every single item on Paul’s list, but I also had not dealt with some of them and was allowing sin to go unchecked in my life. I remember thinking to myself, “Man, I need to forget about being a pastor for a while and just work on being Godly man!”

Fall, 2005: I admit sheepishly that it wasn’t until the beginning of my second year that I began to have regular quiet times with the Lord. I wish I could say that I did quiet times in high school when I served on worship team at church, I wish I could say I did quiet times when I was a part of the Student Action Leadership Training (SALT) class, and I really wish I could say I did quiet time during my freshman year in college when I told so many people that I had experienced “exponential spiritual growth.” Sitting down daily to meet with God was one of the biggest blessings of my sophomore year. I had no clue what I was missing out on for nineteen and a half years! My relationship to God started to feel more like, exactly what it should feel like- a relationship. I remember during one of my quiet times I read about the humility and exaltation of Jesus in Philippians 2:5-11. Even though that passage is just an aside that Paul gives as a model of humility, reading that “at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of the Father” (vv. 10-11) roused worship in my soul and tears in my eyes. It’s all about Christ. He is Lord. He is great. He is to be praised- and I get to praise Him. I get to praise the Lord of lords all the days of my life. How sweet is that?

Winter 2006: Another crucial event that led to my decision to go into ministry was Justin McKitterick’s sophomore guys’ small group aka BoyzIImen. Justin is the shepherd of GOC and took time out of his week to meet specifically with the sophomore guys in the ministry to teach us about discipleship. He strongly encouraged us to find a few younger men whom we could disciple and pour our lives into. Two great lessons I learned from Justin were from 1 Thessalonians 2 and Matthew 25. In 1 Thessalonians 2, you can really see Paul’s passion for discipleship. Paul’s heart for people is bleeding all over the pages of 1 Thessalonians, and I remember thinking, “I want a heart like that.” Justin pointed out that the great commission in Matthew 28:18-20 doesn’t stop with going to the nations and sharing the Gospel; rather, Jesus also commands us to make disciples of Him by “teaching them to observe all that I commanded you” (v. 20). Christ had certainly taught me a lot during my first two years of college, and dissecting the great commission encouraged me to teach these same things to others. The great commission also has baptizing in it, but I’ll leave that up to the real pastors for now!

2006-2007: Small group leading put me on the front lines of ministry at GOC. It was life-on-life in its purest form. We focused on Bible study, accountability/brotherhood, encouragement, discipleship, and prayer. I had six guys in my group, all of whom I love and all of whom will hold a special place in my heart no matter how much time passes by. It’s hard to summarize everything that happened in small group during my third year, but here are some of the important lessons I learned:

Discipleship requires patience.

God is sovereign even when I misinterpret the passage and have to correct myself the following week.

Sacrifice for others always leads to joy.

Girl problems are the most fun but most difficult problems to deal with.

Rebuking using the Word of God can lead to some of the most impactful and lasting lessons in someone’s life.

If you want to get involved deeply in someone’s life, don’t be surprised by the kinds of sin you find.

Just because someone doesn’t participate in small group doesn’t mean they’re not thinking deeply about what is being said.

Studying the Bible in depth can potentially lead to being merely hearers of the Word.

Hide all video games from view.

Small groupies learn more from seeing my life than from my Bible lessons.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for your small groupies is pray for them.

God answers prayer.

The Road to Seminary (Part 1)

I’ve been in seminary for two weeks now, and I’m loving every minute of it. I definitely don’t take for granted the fact that I get to learn about God all day. It’s been a huge joy to experience how God has worked in my life over the past few years. I want to share some milestones that led to my decision to go into full-time ministry. This will be the first of a three part series explaining how God led me to TMS.

2002: In my sophomore year of high school, I remember respecting pastors a lot because they had the ability to make people love God more by simply preaching a sermon once a week. In my ignorance, I thought that pastors just went up to the pulpit on Sundays and made people better Christians by giving sermons. I had no idea that pastoring involves shepherding the flock of God- leading, feeding, protecting, loving, encouraging, admonishing, comforting, helping, equipping, correcting, and upholding God’s people.

2003: As a junior in high school, I began participating in the Lion’s Club Speech Contest. My dad dropped me off at one of these contests, so I was alone with the judges and other contestants. After the competition, I felt that a couple of the other contestants gave better speeches than me, so I didn’t expect to win. However, the judges later announced that I had won and would be able to advance to the next level. After the judges and other contestants went home, I went to stand outside the building to wait for my dad to pick me up. I remember feeling very unworthy of winning that contest and understood that God was the one who allowed me to win. So, as I stood outside alone, I thanked Him for being so gracious to me. I remember thinking that God had gifted me in speaking. At that point, I felt resolved to use this God-given gift for His glory. I felt that maybe He wanted me to be a pastor because, at that point, I couldn’t imagine any other way that would honor Him more than using my lips to preach His Word.

April, 2004: I submitted my statement of intent to register to UCLA, thinking that Los Angeles would be the best location to find a job in journalism or broadcasting after I graduated. Little did I know that God didn’t want me in LA to become a journalist or broadcaster; rather, He wanted me there so He could mold me into a more passionate bondservant of Christ.

2004-2005: Coming to UCLA, I knew that I wanted to find a good Bible-teaching church and fellowship. After looking at six different fellowships, my decision came down to Grace on Campus (GOC), an extension of Grace Community Church (GCC), and Asian American Christian Fellowship (AACF), a ministry of the Japanese Evangelical Missionary Society (JEMS). Because AACF was more similar to my high school fellowship, I felt much more comfortable there. I even got along better with the brothers and sisters there. GOC, on the other hand, was uncomfortable. We sang praise songs that I didn’t know. People kept asking me how I was doing spiritually. (After getting this question enough times, I realized that “aiite” was not a satisfactory answer.) I had trouble understanding the sermons because they introduced theological topics that I was not familiar with. Basically, GOC made me uncomfortable because it completely shot down my pride in thinking that I was some Godly, hotshot church-kid. Coming into college, I thought that I knew my Bible pretty well. God showed me that I didn’t know it all. I thought I didn’t have any major sins in my life. God showed me that I had plenty. I thought I had a fervent love for the Lord. God taught me that if that I loved Him, I would obey His commandments. I ended up choosing to be a part of GOC for precisely the reason it pushed me away beginning: it made me feel uncomfortable. But it was the ego-bruising lessons that God taught me at GOC that challenged me to take my faith seriously. And I wanted a serious faith. After being at GOC and GCC for four years, all I can do is take a step back and praise the Lord for His sovereignty in leading me exactly where He wanted me to go. He’s grown me so much and has been at work in me for His pleasure (Philippians 2:13). Even by bringing me to AACF for while, God graciously allowed me to form relationships with two of my best friends, Eric and Jesse. Both of these men also want to be pastors, and it’s been such a blessing to be able to wrestle through our thoughts on full-time ministry together.

First Day of Class

There’s only one word that can describe my day today: glorious. Here’s a breakdown of the classes I’m taking this semester:

Hermeneutics

This class is meant to teach us how to accurately interpret the Word of God (2 Timothy 2:15). In class today, we got our feet wet by making as many observations as we could from Philippians 2:12-13. For our first assignment, we need to make 35 observations from Ephesians 5:18. After reading the verse a few times, I think I’ve got about 10. I guess I have some work to do.

Beginning Hebrew

I will be learning Hebrew for the purpose of studying the Old Testament in its original language. I think our professor knows that learning a language isn’t the most fun thing to do, so he spent today making sure our hearts were in the right place. He pointed out that learning the language will give us a better understanding of what God has communicated to us in the Scriptures.

Discipleship Lab

Discipleship Labs (d-labs) are meant to strengthen student-to-student and student-to-faculty relationships. The goal is to create lifetime friendships between fellow seminarians since we may be ministering together in the future. My d-lab consists of six other first year students and is led by Professor Ray Mehringer. Each week, we’re going to share prayer requests, pray, and discuss Twelve Challenges Churches Face by Mark Dever. Professor Mehringer is a really encouraging guy, so I’m looking forward to being able to sit down with him in a small group setting.

Introduction to Preaching

In this class, we’re going to focus on sermon research and preparation. Each student has the opportunity to deliver two sermons over the course of the semester. Also, in order to make us better communicators, Professor Hargrove is going to make us do what he likes to call “2-minute drills.” When we get to class each day, there will be a list of words written on the board like this:

Shakespeare

Atonement

Babe Ruth

College Football

Redemption

Some words will be Biblical, but most will be random. Professor Hargrove will then call on several students to come to the front of the class and speak for two minutes on one of the words written on the board. No preparation. No notes. Yikes!

Old Testament Studies I

I haven’t met for this class yet, but I’m sure it will stretch me in many ways! We will be reading Genesis to Esther three times and writing a paper on each book.

Church Ministries

This class also doesn’t start until tomorrow. Its purpose is to expose us to different ministries by having the pastors of several ministries come in to give us lectures and hold Q&A sessions.

Chapel

Chapel meets twice a week and is a chance for all the seminary students to fellowship and worship corporately. Today, Pastor John MacArthur preached from 1 Corinthians 4:1-13 reminding us that as leaders, we are to be faithful and humble servants.

TMS Orientation

I’ve spent the last two days at The Master’s Seminary orientation for new seminary students. What a great couple of days! It was so exciting to rub shoulders with men who are absolutely on fire for the Lord. These men are definitely a diverse bunch. Some men have years of pastoral experience and some have none at all. Some are married and some are single. Some are my age and some have kids my age! There were men from South Korea, Japan, South Africa, France, and Canada. Although all of the students I met were very different, my interaction with them made it very apparent to me that they all share one thing in common: a desire to dedicate their lives for the progress of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

In the morning, I remember wondering what the professors were going to say to us incoming students. What kinds of things were they going to say to inspire us for a lifetime of ministry? A part of me was expecting them to tell us some new, wise counsel that they set aside and reserve only for seminarians. However, all of the professors stuck to the basics. I heard no novel piece of counsel from these men. They only further exhorted me to do the things I had already knew I had to do: Make your relationship with God your number one priority. Be a man of integrity. Approach the Lord with a worshipful attitude. Be above reproach in all things. Do not neglect the living Word as you increase your study of the written Word. Put off sin and decrease activities that hinder your walk with Christ. Put on Biblical attitudes and increase Biblical practices. Beware of hypocrisy. Treasure Christ.

At orientation, I felt a bit like Joshua when he was about to cross the Jordan River into the land of Canaan: young and about to attempt something incredible. When God speaks to Joshua in Joshua 1, I wonder if Joshua was like me in thinking that God would tell him something new. Well, if he did, he must have been surprised by what God said.

No man will be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I have been with Moses, I will be with you; I will not fail you or forsake you. Be strong and courageous, for you shall give this people possession of the land which I swore to their fathers to give them. Only be strong and very courageous; be careful to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, so that you may have success wherever you go. This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:5-9)

That’s got to be the best pep talk in all of Scripture! Like me and my fellow soon-to-be seminarians, Joshua received no new instruction from the Lord. God told Joshua the same things that Moses had been telling him all along! [Deuteronomy 31:7-8] I really needed to be reminded of all the simple and basic things the professors exhorted me with. It focused my heart to remember that the ultimate pursuit of a seminarian is the same as the ultimate pursuit of any other follower of Jesus Christ: living a life to the glory of God.

A couple of highlights from orientation:

1. Eating lunch on Tuesday with Professor/Pastor Rick Holland. As you might expect (if you know him), we spent lunch talking about God, ministry, and college football.
2. Eating lunch on Monday with Professor Irvin Busenitz. After he finished giving us a talk on “Keys to Maximizing Your Seminary Experience,” he sat down at my table and began talking with me. He’s a very humble and down-to-earth man even though he’s an extremely brilliant and accomplished theologian. He was sincerely interested in hearing about my short-term ministry trip to Japan and told me about his visit to the same church one year ago.

I can’t wait to start class on Tuesday!

Welcome!

Thank you for visiting my blog! Whether you’re part of my family, a friend, an acquaintance, or a visitor, I invite you to take part in my experience at The Master’s Seminary (TMS) by reading my posts.

I found out that I was accepted to TMS while I was on a short-term ministries trip to Osaka, Japan. Since then, I’ve been eagerly looking forward to my first day of class on August 26th. I’m really excited to meet my professors, start relationships with my fellow seminarians, and get trained to be a more effective minister. But what I’m looking forward to the most is learning more about my Savior Jesus Christ.

There are two main reasons I’ve created this blog.

1. To update my family and friends on all the Lord is doing in my life. Some of you are many miles away in the Bay Area, but I’d still like you to be involved in my seminary experience and my ministry in LA. I hope you find the updates encouraging to your own walk with the Lord.

2. To track the faithfulness of God in my 3-4 years at TMS. God has done many amazing things in the past few months to bring me to where I am. It has been very obvious to me that God has been sovereignly orchestrating the events in my life for my good and His glory. A few months ago, I didn’t have a job lined up after graduation, a place to live, or a place to park my car. Since then, God has provided all those things and much more. Seeing God work makes me so excited to see what He will do in the coming years, and I want to use this blog to record His acts of goodness to me.

Since this is my first post, I think it would be appropriate to share where this whole journey to seminary started. This journey began the moment Jesus laid hold of me, illumined my spiritual eyes to see my need for a Savior, called me into marvelous light, and forgave me of all my sins. Were it not for saving grace, I wouldn’t be going to seminary at all. Here is my testimony to the grace and mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ in my life.

Twenty-two years ago, I was born dead in my trespasses and sins. Growing up, though, it really didn’t feel like it.

I grew up in a Christian home with Christian parents and Christian siblings. I’ve attended a Christian church since I was in the womb, and I went to a Christian school for thirteen years hanging around Christian friends who also grew up in Christian homes. As I child I only knew what it felt like to be a Christian, and if someone were to tell me that I was a desperate, hopeless sinner, I would have responded in ignorance, “No, I’m not. I’m a Christian.”

I remember one night when I was around seven years old, my mother sat down with me on my bed and asked me if I wanted to ask Jesus into my heart. Knowing that believing in Jesus was the only way to go to Heaven, I answered with an enthusiastic “Yes!” We prayed the sinner’s prayer together with me repeating each line after her. I remember thanking Jesus for dying for me and asking Him to come into my heart. Being only a little child, I really didn’t know what I was saying, and all I was doing was repeating words that I heard. After that night, I considered myself a Christian and even told my friends that I was one. However, throughout elementary and middle school, my life was marked by rebelliousness against God. Jesus was in no way my Lord. I was my own lord. I cared only about myself and did whatever I could to make myself happy. Among my favorite sins were lust, greed, and pride. I remember how my friends and I thought that Tech Decks, miniature skateboards that you use your fingers to play with, were the coolest things in the world. So, we would go to KB Toy Store after school and steal them . During my middle school years I became greatly influenced by peer pressure. I wanted to look “cool” in front of my friends so that they would like me. I actually got quite good at pleasing man, and as my popularity grew so did my ego. I had no desire to turn from my sins and enjoyed the temporary satisfaction that it brought. However, I still believed that I was saved simply because I grew up in a Christian home and repeated that prayer with my mother when I was a child.

It wasn’t until the summer after my freshman year in high school that I truly understood what it meant to trust in Jesus Christ. For so many years I had identified with the title “Christian,” but only at a summer camp hosted by Chinese Bible Missions did I realize that Christians were those who repented of their sins and trusted in Christ. At the summer camp, my counselor took me aside and asked me, “Chris, if you were to die today, do you know for sure that you’d go to Heaven?” I hesitated to answer. I knew I could answer “yes” and back it up with the typical Sunday school answer if I wanted to. But the truth was that I wasn’t sure I was on my way to Heaven. My sin and rebellious lifestyle made me feel distant from God. Reluctantly, I answered that I wasn’t sure I was saved. My counselor then explained what it truly meant to follow Christ. For the first time, I understood that I was in a wretched state because I had not truly repented of my sins. I understood that Christ was my substitute who died for every single one of my sins, and if I would only trust in Him, He would forgive me of all of them. I realized that only Jesus could bridge the gap between a sinner like me and a holy God. Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Knowing God’s immense love for me, holding onto my many sins and refusing to submit my life to the Lordship of Christ simply didn’t make sense anymore. Why would I want to continue to commit the same sins that were the reason Jesus had to die on the cross? My God, who is rich in mercy, gave me the gift of salvation! Hallelujah what a Savior! And it is this Savior that I want to know more deeply each and every day.